How do mermaids have sex?

Like many people, been curious about mermaid intercourse since watching Disney’s The Little Mermaid. Now that I’m writing my first mermaid romance, I had to figure it out with science.

I don’t like paranormal romance books where you can’t understand the physics of love-making, and mermaid sex is a biological challenge.

It’s not like with minotaurs or centaurs, or other shifters, where you assume they have working genitalia between their legs somewhere. Mermen and women are shown with a fish tail up to their waist, leaving little room for spare parts.

The obvious solution is to have them breed with eggs: the female lays them, the man does his thing after. But that’s not very sexy or passionate. So how do merpeople hook up when they like each other?

mermaid sex

 

The Shellfish Solution

To solve this problem, I just made my merpeople crustaceans. They have an exoskeleton over their lower body, which they molt.

He reached across the table and squeezed my hand. There was another question I was dying to ask, but I was a little afraid of the answer.

I finally worked up the courage and blurted out, “How do you… mate?”

I blushed.

His grin widened, he was enjoying himself.

“We come on land and remove our exoskeletons. Under our shells our organs are… nearly identical to humans. I’m sure you’ve heard the birds and the bees speech. If we want children, the females will stay in caves near shore until the eggs are ready, then go into the ocean and give birth. Young merrow are defenseless for the first few years, and need to be guarded and watched by the mother and father. After a few months, they’ll grow their first exo, but then they’ll need a new one every year for about twenty years. After that, they will stay virtually unchanged for decades.”

That solves the mating issue, and also gives them some uniquely awesome powers and abilities.

“In the ocean, with our exos on, we’re nearly invincible,” he smiled. “Hardly anything can puncture our shell, even our fists are protected by almost a centimeter of cartilage. We use them to break shells of other crustaceans, or fight off large ocean predators. Have you ever heard of the Mantis shrimp?”

I shook my head.

“We keep them as pets, they’re beautiful. Its punch is as strong as a gunshot; it’s so powerful and fast it boils the water around it. And their skin is so resilient, the military has been studying their cell structure to make advanced body armor.”

“So what you’re saying, basically, is that you’re a giant shrimp?” I couldn’t help teasing him. He smiled back at me.

“A very charming, handsome shrimp,” he replied.

Fun, right?

Would you sleep with a mermaid?

If you did, what would you be worried about?

PS) If you want to read my novel, Shearwater, you can get it on Amazon.

mermaid3D

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4 Comments

  • Reply Jessa November 15, 2015 at 5:49 am

    is this gonna be a book? if it is I would definitely read it, hilarious

  • Reply Jennifer November 16, 2015 at 1:35 am

    I’ve thought this through as well since I also have a mermaid story planned. I decided I’d go the dolphin route. Since merpeople resemble humans and humans are mammels, and since their tails are depicted always horizontal like a mammels instead of vertical like a fish, I determined merpeople’s sex and birth and raising of young must be very similar to that of dolphins and whales. And their tales are not scale like fish, but smooth like dolphin and whale skin. 🙂

  • Reply Reem November 24, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    When I saw the title of the article, I couldn’t help but click to read more. I mean, I’ve never thought about it. I loved the explanation you came up with, as weird as it may sound, it actually makes a lot of sense. And I like the part of the story you posted too. I’d want to know what happens in that story, it’s cute and intriguing.

  • Reply John September 4, 2016 at 8:36 pm

    One possible answer to this question is found in the infamous fountain in front of City Hall in Palermo, Sicily. As envisioned by the artist, the mermaids and mermen don’t have a single fish tail; rather, each leg is a tail. And between their legs are their organs–similar to those of humans. http://www.italianways.com/the-shameless-magnificence-of-palermos-pretoria-fountain/

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